A Recipe for Humility

INTRODUCTION

Good morning! My name is David Sorn, and I’m the Lead Pastor here at Renovation Church.

Today is our last day of our 10 weeks of being at 4 services.

Next weekend is Memorial Day Weekend, and we will be going back to 3 services for the summer.

A lot of you have asked me, “Will we come back to 4 Services in the Fall?”

Maybe? Probably?

Only God knows.

Thank you though to the many of you that were flexible with your service times this Spring and opened up seats to hear the gospel.

In fact, over those 10 weeks, we saw just over 100 people give their lives to Christ!

We are in week 4 of our 5-week series on John chapter 3 this morning.

John 3:22-30

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Our setting in John 3 is shifting now

Jesus has finished his conversation with Nicodemus, and now we are going out into the Judean countryside, with a spotlight on John the Baptist.

Who was the messenger sent before Jesus to prepare the hearts of the people for the coming Messiah.

(John 3:22-30) – NIV

22 After this, Jesus and his disciples went out into the Judean countryside, where he spent some time with them, and baptized. 23 Now John also was baptizing at Aenon near Salim, because there was plenty of water, and people were coming and being baptized. 24 (This was before John was put in prison.) 25 An argument developed between some of John’s disciples and a certain Jew over the matter of ceremonial washing. 26 They came to John and said to him, “Rabbi, that man who was with you on the other side of the Jordan—the one you testified about—look, he is baptizing, and everyone is going to him.”
27 To this John replied, “A person can receive only what is given them from heaven. 28 You yourselves can testify that I said, ‘I am not the Messiah but am sent ahead of him.’ 29 The bride belongs to the bridegroom. The friend who attends the bridegroom waits and listens for him, and is full of joy when he hears the bridegroom’s voice. That joy is mine, and it is now complete. 30 He must become greater; I must become less.”

(The New Birth Series)

So, just some context here:

John the Baptist was this prophet who everyone went out to see in the desert who wore clothes made out of camel’s hair, ate locusts, told everyone to repent of their sins…

…and when they did, he baptized them (thus John the BAPTIST)

And this was a baptism of repentance.

Remember Jesus hadn’t died on the cross yet, so people were simply saying, “I want to repent, to change my ways, to go the other way, and let God lead my life”

And John, in many ways, at this point in history, is the most popular man in Israel

Everybody and their mother seems to be going out to see him preach this fire n brimstone message about repentance and baptism.

He is “the guy” in Israel.

But then, John’s disciples get wind that this new guy, Jesus, is baptizing people as well, and they are quite worried about it!

In verse 26, they say, “Look, everyone is going over to Him!”

By the way, “Whenever someone says to me, ‘Everyone is doing it!’”

I always say, “Name names!”

But people are indeed flocking over to Jesus here.

And this is going to be a challenge for John the Baptist.

How is he going to respond …ow that someone else is getting all of the recognition?

And how do we respond when that happens to us?

What do you do when your coworker gets promoted, but you think it should’ve been you?

What do you do when everything always seems to go perfectly for your sibling, but not for you?

What do you do when you’re scrolling through social media and all you see is everyone else is going on a perfect vacation, but not you…everyone else is having a baby, but not you…

We need to look to the Bible…because John the Baptist gives this incredible reply to his disciples.

In fact, I believe, what he gives us, is a Recipe for Humility.

(Recipe for Humility)

And so if you’ve been frustrated lately by the success of others around you…

…I want you to take this recipe from John the Baptist and bake it in the oven of your heart, okay?

And before we get deeper into humility, let me share what I’ve said often over the years regarding humility:

Humility isn’t thinking less of yourself; it’s thinking of yourself less.

That’s a BIBLICAL definition of humility.

INGREDIENT #1:

Okay, we’re going to see our first ingredient in this Recipe for Humility in verse 27, so turn there again:

This is where we find John’s first reply to his worried & pride-filled disciples.

(John 3:27) - NIV

27 To this John replied, “A person can receive only what is given them from heaven.

And that is ingredient #1:

A RECIPE FOR HUMILITY:

#1: You can only receive what is given you from heaven

What does that mean?

It means that God is the one who ultimately opens every door for us.

He is the one who gifts us, provides opportunities, abilities, and more.

God is sovereign over our lives.

And in a lot of ways that Biblical truth is very antithetical to the philosophy of our modern world.

Our culture says your identity is found in what you achieve.

The Bible says your identity is found in what you receive.

That you are a child of God, and you receive that identity (you don’t earn it), you receive it from God through faith.

But the world out there say, “NO, you are what you accomplish”

And that is, fascinatingly enough, the very false-identity that the disciples of John the Baptist were trapped in

They were loving the fact that all of Israel was coming out to them!

They were going viral on Tik Tok; they were trending on X

But now…the fact that this might now all be slipping away (cuz everybody is going over to this Jesus guy!!)

…was unbelievably scary to them…because their identity was in the crowds.

And maybe…your fears also come from being grounded in the wrong identity.

Maybe you have so much fear about your work situation because you’re still finding your identity in what you achieve…at work.

Or maybe you have so much fear about your children rebelling or not doing well in school because you’re still finding your identity in your family, your kids.

A RECIPE FOR HUMILITY:

#1: You can only receive what is given you from heaven

But John is teaching his disciples that if they want to be humble (and not get sucked in by pride and all its toxic side-effects), they must remember this first ingredient:

You can only receive what is given you from heaven.

…that means that everything that comes your way…your opportunities, your gifts, your family, your career…

…you don’t own them. You didn’t make them all by yourself…

You’re just a steward of what God has given you from heaven

I’ve actually thought about this particular Biblical truth a lot lately…especially with the unbelievable and exponential growth of our church.

This church has not doubled or tripled or quadrupled, it has literally quintupled in size in just 3.5 years…

And since we first opened the first version of this building 3.5 years ago, we’ve seen 600 people come to Christ.

That’s like an entire small town of people coming to Christ

And at least once a week (often it’s pastors or church leaders), but someone from outside our church says to me, “WHY? HOW? What’s the secret sauce? What made that happen?”

And let me be honest, I find myself, too often, probably in my pride, saying, “Here are the 3 factors that I think contributed to it”

And sure, I’m sure there were good decisions & great strategies by our team, but at the end of the day, honestly, “It’s just God”

It’s what God is doing, and we will receive it, and steward it…

…but in our lives, as soon as we start taking credit for something good happening your life, your identity gets tied to it…

…And when your identity is tied to some thing, your happiness rises and falls on how well that thing is going.

That’s why John’s disciples are losing their minds about people going over to Jesus.

So the first ingredient to humility is to learn to say, “Whatever good is happening in my life, it’s from heaven, and I’m just a steward of it”

INGREDIENT #2

What’s the second ingredient?

It’s in verse 28

(John 3:28) - NIV

28 You yourselves can testify that I said, ‘I am not the Messiah but am sent ahead of him.’

And that is ingredient #2

A RECIPE FOR HUMILITY:

#1: You can only receive what is given you from heaven

#2: You are not the Messiah

John is now reminding his disciples, “Listen, I’m not the Messiah, I’m not the Savior.”

My job is to point people to the Messiah, not to be the Messiah!

And we’d all be a whole lot more humble in life if we remembered our job isn’t to fix every situation and every person around us.

That’s God’s job.

Let me say this very clearly: You are not the Messiah

I’m actually not going to say very much on this ingredient, because about a year and a half ago, we taught through John chapter 1 where John the Baptist first said, “I am not the Messiah,” and we did an entire 30-minute message just on this point.

(“I Am Not The Messiah” Message Slide)

So if you’ve found yourself lately trying to fix everyone in your family or at your work, you can listen to this message on the way to work this week.

INGREDIENT #3

So let’s actually look now at the 3rd ingredient in our Recipe for Humility is verse 29

(John 3:29) - NIV

29 The bride belongs to the bridegroom. The friend who attends the bridegroom waits and listens for him, and is full of joy when he hears the bridegroom’s voice. That joy is mine, and it is now complete.

A RECIPE FOR HUMILITY:

#1: You can only receive what is given you from heaven

#2: You are not the Messiah

#3: You are the friend at the wedding

Okay, to really understand this point, we have to first understand the bride & bridegroom (which is just the long-form word for groom) language that is used in the Bible.

In several places in the Bible, Jesus is described as the GROOM, and the church (that’s all of the Christian believers) is described as the BRIDE

Jesus is in a covenantal relationship with us.

We were purchased with his blood on the cross, and if we believe in Him for salvation, he will love us and keep us unconditionally

So John is using this wedding metaphor to teach his followers about humility

Because, in a traditional Jewish wedding, it was often the best man’s job (the friend’s job) to announce the groom’s coming and then present the groom to his bride!

That’s John’s job: to present Jesus to his bride, to his followers.

John isn’t supposed to be the main focus.

Like he said, he’s the friend at the wedding.

As a pastor, I’ve been to a lot of weddings.

With the size of our church, I can’t do all the wedding anymore like I used to, but I still officiate 2 or 3 a year, and I’ve done about 30 weddings since we started the church…

…and I’ll tell you, few things are more uncomfortable at a wedding than an awkward best man speech.

Especially when they start making it about themselves

That’s not their job.

Any quick google search will tell them they’re supposed to give honor to their friendship with the groom, tell the bride they look wonderful, and just stop talking!

It’s not about you.

And similarly, life isn’t about you.

And this is such a key ingredient if you’re really struggling with jealousy, with envy, with feeling such frustration with how well life is going for the people around you…

The way that you fight that…. the ingredient you need to bake into the oven of your heart…is to remember you’re the friend at the wedding.

You weren’t placed on earth to give glory to yourself, but to give glory to God.

And this principle is quite hard to live out because it’s not at all what our couture tells you

In fact, the culture tells you the opposite!

It says that actually, one of the Main purposes of your life is to give glory to…yourself!

That’s literally almost the exact point of social media…to give glory to…yourself.

For many people, that’s the function of their career arc as well.

But John says, “Remember who you are, you’re the friend at the wedding, announcing the coming of the groom

That’s your main focus.

But some of you are thinking, “I don’t want to be the friend!”

And the reason you don’t want to be the friend is because you think the thing that will bring you the most joy is being the main character at the wedding, but that’s not actually true!

Look at how John describes his emotions here:

He says the friend is:

(John 3:29b) – NIV

full of joy when he hears the bridegroom’s voice. That joy is mine, and it is now complete.

John is saying that he (as the friend!) is experiencing “Complete Joy!”

John thinks the groom is so great, that Jesus the Messiah is so great, he’s so joyful & excited just to announce his coming.

He’s more than happy to lift Jesus up instead of lifting himself up.

And this has always been a challenge for me…especially as a driven person.

I’m an insanely driven person, and so I always want to lead.

I think I was probably a terrible youth pastor back in the day because every staff meeting I was in, I wanted to lead.

Wherever I am, I want to lead.

It’s how I’m wired.

But about 10 years ago, I got to have breakfast with this very accomplished and deeply wise pastor….

….and it was the only time in my entire life when I thought, “If this guy asked me right now to quit my job, and come work for him, and just hold him up, and serve his vision, I would”

No worries, he’s retiring now! So I didn’t go anywhere, and I’m not going anywhere

But I think the sentiment is similar here.

When you realize how great Jesus is, you will actually find joy in lifting Him up, and thus you don’t need to lift up yourself.

And what’s amazing about this…is the fact that this isn’t just humility, my friends, it’s actually FREEDOM!

Timothy Keller called this

The Freedom of Self-Forgetfulness

Because remember: Humility isn’t thinking less of yourself, it’s thinking of yourself less.

Humility is not beating yourself down, it’s standing tall, but looking up to see the giant-awesomeness of God…

… and thus concluding: “Oh, I’m not the main attraction, I’m not the groom, I’m just the friend announcing his coming”

And that Biblical truth gives you the freedom to not make life about:

…always having to look the best

…always having to get attention

…always having to outdo your friends, or family

It’s not about you.

And so I urge you to find the joy and the freedom that is found in humility and self-forgetfulness.

INGREDIENT #4:

Okay, there’s one more ingredient for humility that John the Baptist gives us, and that’s in verse 30, perhaps the most famous verse of this passage

(John 3:30) - NIV

30 He must become greater; I must become less.”

This should be the cry of our hearts.

A RECIPE FOR HUMILITY:

#1: You can only receive what is given you from heaven

#2: You are not the Messiah

#3: You are the friend at the wedding

#4: You must become less, He must become greater

This ingredient is so important.

If you don’t get this one, it’s kind of like baking chocolate cake without the chocolate!

And yet in America, in particular, we have too many Christians baking chocolate cake without the chocolate.

They’re not becoming less, they’re trying to make themselves greater.

But listen, if the main intention of your life has become to show everyone you’ve arrived, or how special you are, how talented you are, how great your house is, your family is, or your career is…

…I want to save you the heartache and tell you now: “No matter how great you become, it will not satisfy you.”

There will never be enough accolades or likes or hearts.

And the more your identity gets tied to those sorts of things, the more wounded you will feel at any sort of criticism of your work or your family, or wherever your identity lies.

AND, you’ll get caught in the exact same trap as the disciples of John the Baptist…

Whenever somebody else gets that better house, or that newer car, or their kid does better than yours at sports, or they go to a better college…

…it will just set you off.

…and anger returns, and jealousy returns, and anxiety that you’re not good enough returns…

But look at the freedom of humility in this quote I want to show you that, our Counseling Pastor, Dave Anderson gave this week for this topic:

“Humility is perfect quietness of heart. It is to expect nothing, to wonder at nothing that is done to me, to feel nothing done against me. It is to be at rest when nobody praises me, and when I am blamed or despised. It is to have a blessed home in the Lord, where I can go in and shut the door, and kneel to my Father in secret, and am at peace as in a deep sea of calmness, when all around and above is trouble.” – Andrew Murray

That is what you’re looking for.

Not an anxious heart that is constantly worried about things not going well or not measuring up.

But a peaceful heart that is content.

A RECIPE FOR HUMILITY:

#1: You can only receive what is given you from heaven

#2: You are not the Messiah

#3: You are the friend at the wedding

#4: You must become less, He must become greater

But if you want that, you’ve got to bake in this ingredient.

You’ve got to wake up in the morning (try this, this week) and say, “It’s not about me. It’s just not. It’s about Him. It’s about Him”

You become less, He becomes greater.

And that freedom of self-forgetfulness will lead you to peace.

It’s putting the chocolate back in the chocolate cake.

This is how you were meant to live.

Let me pray