How to Treat God’s Family

INTRODUCTION

Good morning! My name is David Sorn, and I’m the Lead Pastor here at Renovation Church.

You and I are living in a great irony in today’s world when it comes to connectedness.

We can be connected to almost anywhere and anyone in the world.

Have an old friend that moved to South Korea?

No problem, you can talk to them on your screen in about 3 seconds.

We are more connected than we’ve ever been, and yet…lonelier than we’ve ever been.

A lot of Americans have reported to studies that while they have 1,000 friends or followers on social media, they have no one they could call in a crisis.

And friends, in many ways, this is where I think the church can shine the brightest in America right now.

We’ve been studying the book of 1 Timothy as a church, and we said that it’s, in many ways, a blueprint for how the church should operate.

And we’re going to see today more operating instructions for how we should treat one another not as consumers or acquaintances, but as family: As brothers, sisters, sons, and daughters.

1 Timothy 5:1-2

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1 Timothy is rarely preached through in churches, and so today is another passage you probably have never heard a message on before.

But remember, not every passage in the Bible is meant to solve some urgent need you have or to teach you how to improve your life.

When we approach Scripture like that (“give me a topic that will help me”) then God just becomes an administrative assistant in our minds

And I assure you, God is not an administrative assistant.

Not every Scripture is about “how God can help us”

Sometimes it’s just about who God is

Or even about how we should live.

DON’T TREAT EVERYONE THE SAME

Okay, let’s read Paul’s words to Timothy

(1 Timothy 5:1-2) - NIV

Do not rebuke an older man harshly, but exhort him as if he were your father. Treat younger men as brothers, 2 older women as mothers, and younger women as sisters, with absolute purity.

(How to Treat God’s Family)

Okay, so notice Paul doesn’t say to Timothy: Here’s how to manage different people in God’s organization

He essentially says, “Here’s how you to treat people in God’s family

In fact, I believe there are 4 principles in here for how to treat God’s family. .

4 Principles for How to Treat God’s Family:

#1: Don’t treat everyone the same

And this is kind of going to go against the prevailing cultural idea of we’re all the same and should be treated the same.

Now, every member of the human race is of equal worth & dignity and all that, of course!

But Paul says we are to treat each member of God’s family uniquely.

And this is intuitive if you think about families

How many of you have a preschooler?

Do you let them make financial decisions in your family?

Imagine if you did!

How many of you have grandparents you get to see often?

Do you talk to them the same as you do teenagers?

Probably not.

We treat our family members differently, and thus we should treat people in God’s family differently

Well how?

Timothy is told to treat the older men with respect, like a father.

And not to rebuke them…even though Titus 2 says that pastors can rebuke with all authority!

But notice that Timothy can still exhort the older men (that is…let them know if they’re going in the wrong direction)

We have a lot of young people in leadership here…and we always have.

In part because I started this church when I was 27 years old, and so I believe deeply in young people and always will.

And it’s really hard as a leader when you have to confront someone older than you.

But if you’re a leader, I don’t care if you’re 23, and you need to (as their spiritual leader) call out someone who is older than you, then Biblically you’re called to do so.

But the Bible says, you should do so like you were having to call out your own father on something.

So when you speak to them, it’s imperative that you do so with respect and dignity.

And similarly, Paul says we are to treat the older women in the church as mothers.

Listen, if someone has been walking with Christ way longer than you, they probably know a thing or two.

In our culture we tend to overvalue knowledge of pop culture & current trends (which often the old don’t always do as well)…

But we undervalue actual life experience, which the older have in abundance.

And the Bible calls us here humble ourselves & honor those who have walked through life longer than us

Next, Paul says to Timothy, treat the younger men, as your brothers…respect what they have to say…even if they’re younger.

This is kind of interesting.

So honor your elders, but also respect those younger than you.

So that means that if you’re older than someone else you serve with at this church, remember both sides of the coin here in 1 Timothy 5

So as you interact with all the young people in our church, and they may challenge your thinking, don’t be saying, “Listen son, I’ve been doing this before you were born”

That’s not respecting them (like the Bible says) as a brother or sister (that’s treating them like a child)

I remember starting to serve in church…when I was in my early twenties.

And often I didn’t feel like a lot of my ideas were listened to because of my age.

And now 20 year later, you know what, “A lot of my ideas were right…and I wish people would’ve listened to me”

But just as many of my ideas were foolish, and shortsighted, or immature

…and I should’ve listened to my elders.

So we’ve got to treat each other well

Honor the old, respect the young.

Okay and then Paul says treat the younger women as sisters…with absolute purity.

He’s saying that men should be very serious about their boundaries when they lead or counsel or meet with younger women.

…or younger men if you’re a female leader.

…or honestly just anyone 😊

WE SHOULD TAKE CARE OF OUR OWN FAMILIES

Let’s keep reading

1 Timothy 5:3-8

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(1 Timothy 5:3-8) – NIV

3 Give proper recognition to those widows who are really in need. 4 But if a widow has children or grandchildren, these should learn first of all to put their religion into practice by caring for their own family and so repaying their parents and grandparents, for this is pleasing to God. 5 The widow who is really in need and left all alone puts her hope in God and continues night and day to pray and to ask God for help. 6 But the widow who lives for pleasure is dead even while she lives. 7 Give the people these instructions, so that no one may be open to blame. 8 Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.

(How to Treat God’s Family)

Let’s come back to that in a second…

Firstly, we read that a CHURCH should take care of widows and even single parents.

And we try and do that not only relationally through our House Church relationships, but also through our local partners like Valued Voices

(Valued Voices Slide)

Where our volunteers meet with folks in assisted living…just down the road at Edgewood..most of whom are widows…or widowers.

And I encourage you to be part of that.

(Together for Good)

We also work with Together for Good, where our church families will often take in kids for a few days often for single moms in tough situations.

So yes, the church should care for widows and those in need, and yet there is a fascinating second principle in here…and it’s challenging!

4 Principles for How to Treat God’s Family:

#1: Don’t treat everyone the same

#2: We must take care of our own family

Scripture speaks very strongly about this.

Did you read verse 8?! Look at it.

Paul says, if we don’t care for our parents, our grandparents, then we’re worse than an unbeliever.

…then, we must not understand the mercy and care God had for us because we’re not showing it to others.

Now remember that Paul is writing in a time where there is no financial safety net

No Medicare, Medicaid, social security, disability insurance, assisted living facilities, on and on.

If you were an elderly widow in Paul’s day, and your family didn’t take care of you…you were going to starve to death. Literally.

Taking care of widows was often a cornerstone of morality in ancient culture.

In Athens in those days, a politician couldn’t even speak in public if it was found out that he didn’t care for his aging parents.

IF you go back in American history, even just 100 years ago, a good portion of families lived in multigenerational settings.

If you go to many places around the world today, especially to the collectivist societies of Asia and Africa, honoring your elders and taking care of them is one of the highest values of society.

But we, live in a society that prioritizes individualism.

Which has many great tenets, but it also tends to put the focus on ourselves, not on caring for other people.

But listen, many of you have aging parents, or will have aging parents in the next 10 – 20 years.

So how do you live this passage out as a Bible-believing Christian?

And listen, this is why we teach through the whole Bible.

Because when churches are only teaching on the topics that everyone wants to hear…

….this topic never makes the list

No church is advertising, “Come this Sunday as we start a new series about your aging parents…”

But this is real issue that almost all of us will face.

And, it’s complicated!

I think when people read passages like this, I think there are always a lot of “What if’s?” as you think about application.

“Yeah, okay, but what if my parent is far away from me?”

“What if they’re too sick for me to care for?”

“What if I don’t like my parent?!”

Here’s how I would answer those questions.

This is yet another reason why we often say that House Church (our midweek gatherings of 30-40 people) is the other half of what it means to be a part of church.

You can’t just have this half (worship & the teaching of the Word of God)…

…you need the other half: you need the Family of God to come around you.

You need real people who can know you personally, and hear all of the details to your nuanced and unique situation with your parents…

…, and then, through the Spirit of God and Word of God, they can speak Godly counsel into your direct situation.

I can’t personally do that for thousands of people…or into a hundred different unique situations in one message.

But (and this is beautiful) as a church we can actually ensure that every person at our church can receive Godly counsel in their lives.

All it takes is for you to go to House Church this week and start talking about it.

Or for some of you, to sign up for one for the first time on your app, the website, or at the welcome table

New people sign up every single week, and it should be you this week!

WE MUST USE WISDOM IN OUR GENEROSITY

Okay, let’s read two more verses.

Let’s keep reading

1 Timothy 5:9-10

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(1 Timothy 5:9-10) – NIV

9 No widow may be put on the list of widows unless she is over sixty, has been faithful to her husband, 10 and is well known for her good deeds, such as bringing up children, showing hospitality, washing the feet of the Lord’s people, helping those in trouble and devoting herself to all kinds of good deeds.

(How to Treat God’s Family)

Again, Paul kind of says the unexpected here.

If you’ve never read this before, I bet you couldn’t have predicted he’d say this.

You’d probably expect that he’d say, “And when you take care of widows, take care of all of them, no matter who they are or what they’ve done”

And yet that’s not at all what he says

If widows want to be supported by the Church Family, they actually have to make “the list”

That is…they have to be over 60, faithful, well known for good deeds, their family life and on and on.

What is Paul saying here? What’s the principle?

4 Principles for How to Treat God’s Family:

#1: Don’t treat everyone the same

#2: We must take care of our own family

#3: We must use wisdom in our generosity

If you’re going to be generous with your money OR we’re going to be generous with the family of God’s money (the church’s money), we have to use wisdom in how we dole it out.

It this feels almost counter intuitive to some.

Because you maybe feel like we should just give to all.

And in some ways, there is a truth to that.

Jesus says “Give to the one who asks of you”

John the Baptist said, “If you have two shirts and someone else has zero, give them a shirt”

They don’t say, “They have to be citizen of the year first”

And yet, Paul brings us another principle that we hold in tension with the principle of generosity: that it’s not wrong to use wisdom in our generosity.

About a year ago, I was walking into church from the parking lot on a weekday, and a young man walked up to me in the parking lot and asked if he could borrow $40.

He said his wallet was locked in his car at Kwik Trip and he just needed a little bit more money to pay off the Locksmith.

He assured me he would pay me right back as soon as he got his car open.

And then he even gave me his phone charger as collateral to hold while he was away, and he gave me his number as well.

And so I gave him $40, and guess what, he never came back.

And so if anyone wants a charger for an iPhone

But I texted him that I forgave him for his sin…or robbery…but told him that Jesus could forgive him and shared the gospel.

But listen, before you judge me as being foolish…

…let’s psychoanalyze why this was hard for me 😊

Firstly, I was literally standing in front of the words “Renovation Church” while he’s asking me and I told him I was a pastor.

And so I’m trying to not look mean, or selfish, or stingy.

But what is that? There is something in my thinking there that I think isn’t quite right.

Because I actually think a lot of us have this belief that IF we’re going to be like Christ, we just need to always give.

Don’t ask the hard questions…just give.

And I think Paul would say here: “That’s not always true”

Yes, sometimes, we should generously give as Jesus generously gave to us.

But lots of times, especially when we’re talking about long term investments into people or ministries.

It’s okay to ask the harder questions and dig in a bit

We should apply wisdom to our generosity.

This is why Paul says, for example, that younger widows in fact shouldn’t be on that list, and he’s going to explain that next

YOUNGER WIDOWS HAVE MUCH OF LIFE IN FRONT OF THEM STILL

1 Timothy 5:11-16

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(1 Timothy 5:11-16) – NIV

11 As for younger widows, do not put them on such a list. For when their sensual desires overcome their dedication to Christ, they want to marry. 12 Thus they bring judgment on themselves, because they have broken their first pledge. 13 Besides, they get into the habit of being idle and going about from house to house. And not only do they become idlers, but also busybodies who talk nonsense, saying things they ought not to. 14 So I counsel younger widows to marry, to have children, to manage their homes and to give the enemy no opportunity for slander. 15 Some have in fact already turned away to follow Satan.
16 If any woman who is a believer has widows in her care, she should continue to help them and not let the church be burdened with them, so that the church can help those widows who are really in need.

4 Principles for How to Treat God’s Family:

#1: Don’t treat everyone the same

#2: We must take care of our own family

#3: We must use wisdom in our generosity

So this is under that same principle of using wisdom in generosity

Paul is telling Timothy, don’t use the Family of God’s hard-earned tithe money to support a widow of 25 years old.

A) If she has family, her family should help with that

And B) Apparently many of these young widows were just using the church’s money to live an idle life (or worse yet some were using it live in sinful pleasure)

And so the principle here is that if there is someone in your family that needs help (a widow, a struggling sibling, an adult child that can’t get a job or stay sober….

Yes, as Christian we should be first be generous…but we should also use wisdom.

And it’s not wrong to have boundaries (Paul had a list!), to set expectations, and to remove generosity if those expectations aren’t met.

That’s what Paul is doing in the Bible…he’s using wisdom in generosity

WE DON’T JUST RECEIVE CARE, WE GIVE CARE

And I want to bring out one more principle that I think is in all of this passage, and it’s this:

4 Principles for How to Treat God’s Family:

#1: Don’t treat everyone the same

#2: We must take care of our own family

#3: We must use wisdom in our generosity

#4: We don’t just receive care, we give care

If you look closely at Paul’s requirements for the widows list, you’ll see that he’s looking for a widow who doesn’t just receive care, but gives care back to God’s family.

Verses 9 & 10 say: That the widow should practice good deeds, show hospitality, serve the Lord’s people…her church, help those in trouble.

And I think, honestly, when the relationship goes both ways, there is dignity in that for the person receiving help

And if we’re going to be a family, one person in a family can’t just receive all the care and do nothing.

That’s why if you have kids, you say (or you should say)…if you’re going to live in this house (at 23 (or 7!)), you’ve gotta help out, and wash the dishes, and clean your room, or rake the leaves.

You can’t just receive.

And it’s the same in the family of God.

And because of that, at Renovation Church, we often call ourselves the anti-consumerism church.

If you’re looking to just be a consumer at church, boy did you walk in the wrong building this morning.

If you are a Christian (not just someone checking this whole Christian thing out)

…but you are truly a born-again Christian, but you just come to a church on Sunday morning and sit and listen, and you’re not in a House church, you never give, you don’t serve.

I don’t know how to say this lightly (so I won’t), I want to encourage you to read the New Testament again.

The model given for the Church is always mutual service and giving.

It’s a family.

There is no such thing in the Bible as a one-way consuming

That may be an American version of church, but it’s not a Biblical version of church.

And so if you’re not on board, get on board.

Pick up an oar, serve

Get in a House Church.

And let people give you care and build into you, yes…

…but then give it back.

That’s how we treat each other…in a family.

Let me pray.